Doggy Comfort
Off the Wall, July 30,

Recently I heard tell of a luxury for ‘a man’s best friend’ that sent me into not only amazement, but also a thought process that deserved some attention in my column. Some people may know about this already, but it was sure new to me. Ready? An air-conditioned doghouse.

Now, really folks, I know our dogs are just like family members, but have we gone to the dogs ourselves by providing the comforts of home for our four-legged friends?

Of course, readers by now can imagine how my mind may be stirred by cellular activity into a thinking process that may raise questions of all sorts and kinds.

So, there sits Buster in his abode of modern living, smiling, tongue hanging off to one side as the chill of propelled air is being forced out his way. And which way is he looking, one may ask?

Well, with a house number of 404B, the master’s house being 404, I can only imagine that Buster is sitting on his padded matt, waiting for the postal carrier to bring his mail in form of doggie treats, a small but nutritious mid-morning meal that would supplement his nutrition that all creation needs to build bones, provide fiber and soft coating of fur.

If there ever would be a next question, it would be, in the wintertime, would Buster’s house switch over to warm air? After all, having central air is important for the existence of the trio’s compatible living practices. His owners are a newly married couple that wanted to bestow their ‘child’ everything. What better dog comfort could anyone give than to provide accessibility to back yard freedom where he could wander about when needs occur so as to roam and sniff prior to expulsion of unwanted substances?

Since Buster is trying to keep cool during his lazy days of summer, the next question would center on entertainment. Do you suppose he has a radio or small television in where he lives? If not, maybe he lies there and meditates. Prayer is a wonderful way to spend those moments where he isn’t called upon to entertain visitors. What does a pet with such comfort practices say when he talks to God, may I ask?

In the case that maybe since he came from a shelter, he could be thanking and praising God for being adopted by such loving owners that saw to it to not only take him in, but give him comfort for a designed for a king.

Maybe he would be asking St. Anthony to help him find the bone he buried in the back yard, but forgot just where that could have been. He would be ‘barking down the right trail’ asking the one person who helps every living person where to find lost objects.
Oh, the questions go on…

So there lies Buster in his air-conditioned “dog-cave.” May it be the case, for example, that it has long black fur? Good grief! Can’t have the thermostat up too high, now can he? And how does his ‘highness’ adjust the switch on the little box that controls how much cold air that is needed? Oh, such mysteries…

If it pokes its nose in where it doesn’t belong, it may be increasing the temp rather than decreasing it. We wouldn’t want to lessen his doggy comfort, now would we? But then again, we have nothing to do with it. It’s all up to Buster and his tactical skills.

Should we feel sorry for this animal that has found himself ‘in the doghouse,’ or be excited that he just may have something 95 per cent of his fellow canines are going without?

When the lady of the house taught Buster to roll over, I bet she never would have imagined that in the future it would be for his own good. In this house, the dog could roll in any direction and feel the cool mountain breezes refresh the body from presumably the sides and top of the structure.

Let’s get back to controlling the thermostat. Since the nose is out, then three other appendages, for better lack of words, in my opinion, just may do the trick – its tail, tongue or paw.

I can’t see the tail doing the trick. Swatting at the box is not going to result in a positive outcome. Slobbering on the box will only cause a short. Using his ‘paw-ticular’ movements, the room temps will always be perfect every time!

- Paul J. Volkmann
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