Look Forward
Off the Wall, November 9, 2017

Fallings out seem to happen to everyone at one time or another. Prevalent are incidents between brothers and sisters, boyfriends and girlfriends and marital couples as well. It all starts with a single remark that either is disagreed upon or misunderstood by an opposing party or parties.

What one does after the fact is the difference between mending the problem or escalating the situation. Why individuals would rather stir the ambers rather than dousing the coals is beyond me.

Dato Martino of Flohinzio, Minnesota, had dated his high school sweetheart for a number of years. He one day decided to break off the relationship and move on, hoping to meet and date other young ladies before graduating. It seemed simple enough to him, but when the significant other heard about the unforeseeable departure, she was outraged.

Instead of both talking over the situation, she flared up and yelled and screamed at him. Is that the way to solve disputes such as this one? Not in my book. If one can’t sit down and talk things through without losing one’s temper, pick a time in the future to engage in a discussion of sorts. Keep in mind; no raising of one’s voice can go a long way into a future solution. Then look forward to other opportunities, for there will be many. Looking back, holding grudges or saying mean things about the other to family, friends and neighbors accomplishes nothing. In the long and short of it all, these are negative attributes and will only come back and haunt her.

Pain or hurt begins in the heart and ends up in the head. It is the decisions of each individual what one wishes to do in the moment of crisis. The best approach I’ve been told is to walk away from any confrontation and let things settle and then calmly get back together for a discussion over a cup of coffee or soda of one’s choice.

Pixel Podgraff of Milford, Wyoming, loved to make mountains out of molehills, as the saying goes. He not only created rumors, but also blew them out of proportion. No one ever knew what he was going to come up next. He would pick on the physically challenged, particularly those individuals that displayed a body abnormality.

For example, Kurt Doxson always walked with limp as a result of a knee injury caused by many falls. Pixel would pass the word around that he got that way because his neighbor’s dog bit him on his ankle. That bit of information seemed to entertain him more than the real truth.

Instead of dreaming up falsities to use as psychological ploys, Pixel should be more kind to people like Kurt overlooking his setbacks and looking forward to ways he may be of service to him, maybe carrying packages for him or giving him a ride to a destination rather than letting him walk.
Little white lies or lies in and of themselves can be so destructive to others’ reputation. Always think good for others in ways of helping and not hindering, and one will be blessed for his efforts.

Last we have the subject of social media posting. We’ve all heard about the disturbances one can cause to others by posting anything misleading or of ill nature on Facebook, for example.

I was talking to a young lady recently in a waiting room and we got on the subject of computers. She told me she used to do Facebook until her friends used to say horrible things about politicians before the elections, many of the things untrue.

She didn’t want to become any part of these interactions, so she quit Facebook and even got rid of all her so-called friends who took part in this somewhat common process. That may be a bit extreme, in my opinion, particularly if they are said to be friends, but that, of course is her choice and comes with freewill. Think first. Don’t put slams against others on social media. Whatever is stated may intensify into feuds that may result in grudges. Relinquish one’s pride and look forward to resolving all issues.

Facebook can be a fun thing as well as a tool of destruction. Just the other day a fellow approached me and stated, “Hey, I saw that picture you posted of your son and the trout that he caught. I had to laugh when you referred to the dog he was holding as your “grandchild.”

Positivity always replaces negativity!


- Paul J. Volkmann
Contact me by email

To buy my book, Off the Wall Favorites, call me at 724-539-1951.