Off the Wall, March 16, 2017

We’re all familiar with the saying stating, “Never say never.” Even though most of us may have stated those three words, I betcha you don’t know who coined it? I sure didn’t. It was Charlie Dickens, or maybe I should just stick with his formal name, Charles. It was back in 1837 when he noted it in Pickwick Papers. There, we both learned something.

Anyway, I periodically say to myself, “That will never happen…” and sure enough it does – every time. Does that happen to you, too? I often wonder why it’s become a regular habit when, by now, I should know the outcome. It should become an automatic “gimme” when it goes through my mind, right.

All one has to state is “That can’t happen to me,” and it goes without saying that very one thing happens within a given time period.

Andrea Parcua decides to take a walk during her lunch break from Bunker Hill Bank. She looks out the window to see if there is any chance of rain. All she sees is blue sky and sunshine. She looks over to her fellow worker and states, “Hey Debbie, take care of my umbrella. I’m going for a short walk. It will never rain in the short amount of time I’m gone. No sooner does she him the blacktop than she feel a bit of spitting from above. Guess what? A shower was coming from the west and she was looking east. Oh my…

Adamella Makowiski, Butuwoo, Michigan, was told by her doctor to never eat lobster as it may have fatal results. Overcome by temptation one day, she ordered the tail of this creature. Sickened, she died shortly thereafter.

Arthur Schmotz from Fieldlopey, Mexico, was visiting his friend, Felix, in Arnoz, Arizona. The two decided to go bathing in the backyard swimming pool. It was a great day for it, lots of sun, the temperature not too hot and a nice area to lounge for some rest and relaxation.

Art went and got a large tube of sun block and put it all over him. “Here, Felix, you are going to need this. You better put some on, too. “No thanks, Art, I never burn.”

Melveen Gotsoap was very bull-headed in her ways of doing things. “Now Melveen,” her friends would tell her, “are you sure your keys are in your purse before we leave the house?” She’d always turn to her friends and give them a sneer uttering,” “Do you have to even ask?

She and her friends have a fantabulous time out on the town. They did some shopping, stopped off at a fancy place to eat, and even went to the movies to see ‘Never Ever Never!’ Upon returning home, Melveen exited the vehicle and merrily strolled toward her front door. Looking back, she saw the car speed off up and over the hill, disappearing in no time. When she got to her front door, she reached into her purse and felt for keys that were always kept in one place. “Oh,” she thought, “they must have dropped down to the bottom somewhere.”

Going all through the leather bag, she frantically dumped everything out on the small porch. No keys. “I should have listened to Diana and checked my purse to see if my keys were in that little compartment. Boy was I stupid. How am I going to get into the house now,” she wondered.

And then there was this guy named Volkmann. While living in Ohio, a fellow approached him and asked, “Hey, we sure would you like you to join us at our worship service Sunday. “Can you make it?” He nodded affirmatively. He got all spiffed up and rode his bike to the little brown church on the corner. Walking in, he thought the members would greet him warmly. Not so. He was snubbed and made to feel very unwanted. “I’ll never go back to any church again,” he said.”

Only when he moved to Pennsylvania and opened a business did an employee invite him to go to church hopping with him. It was then at one of these services he felt moved to invite Jesus Christ into his life. His lifestyle changed fantastically. Everyday he feels blessed and knows it was the best thing he ever did.

This column today contains a lot of lessons. Take them to heart. Please don’t think, “Never say never!”

- Paul J. Volkmann
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