Plain Stupid
Inside the Outdoors, June 24
, 2011

I felt as though I was a mosquito hit over the head with a monkey wrench. How dare anyone deny me – the Peev – the purchase of anything in as much as I have a great credit rating – at least this is what I thought. After all, anytime I get a bill in the mail, I quickly dig out my check book, fill out the necessary information, drop the check in an envelope and head for the post office or blue mailbox. And if the subject of mortgage ever came up, I paid off my house a long time ago. And finally, I don’t own credit cards now that I am retired. Don’t need them, and actually don’t believe in them – spending money I don’t have. I know people who will do this – buy and buy and never pay. That, my friends, is stealing – plain and simple.

So, ye old senior citizen decides he wants to try to keep up a bit with the high tech age we live in, decides to purchase a cell phone from what I considered to be a prestigious company – so I thought. That was not to be. How come? I was stunned when I was told I could not do so because I had no credit rating.

“Get out of town. What in blazes are you telling me,” I told Steven B. “I owe nothing to anybody, because I am a conscientious, sensitive Christian who tries to do right in everything I do.”

“We can’t find any place that you have any credit rating anywhere, so we can’t do business with you,” he said.

I felt like a jack rabbit with its head shoved down its hole. That’s plain stupidity if you ask me. Why would anyone want to deny doing business with someone like me who is willing to pay for something with the currency I have in my possession? Beats me…

Looking into this matter further, I was told by a prominent business woman in Latrobe that a relative of hers had the same problem. He had to go out a apply for a credit card, make some purchases, pay the sum total and then, subsequently, establish some kind of rating.

I guess I’m talking like an old man, but what has this world come to? My “friend” Steven told me I couldn’t even send him a check prior to my purchase, which, by the way, he could check out as to it being good by contacting my bank upon receiving it. If that isn’t a tilly in a willy! Flank diddle doodle. My mama’s lost her poodle. Give me a break!

On top of all this bunch of bunk, I hear tell that there is no limit as to children carrying credit cards. Could it be, that is where my parents went wrong? They should have given me a credit card in my name, so that by now I would have established a fantastic credit rating and would be in fine shape for any future purchases? So, what society is saying is this. There are two investments parents have to make for their children upon growing up, life insurance and the usage of credit cards. Sorry, but this ol’ geezer definitely promotes the first, but highly disagrees with the second.

So, now this old man is being forced to do something I never thought I’d ever do again – go out and apply for a credit card so I can establish a “good” credit rating. I find it ironic that I have to prove my “goodness” to others by going in debt only to pay it off quickly. That’s just what I need – another bill coming in the mail which, by the way, could get lost, lifted from my mailbox or being delayed in some post office somewhere. Then I would have to pay 19% interest on top of the amount tallied on the bottom of that “long” sheet of calculations. Isn’t that a crock of butter?

I know by now what is going through your mind – which company did I go with? Sorry, but I see no need to divulge that bit of information. I will tell you this. I believe I did the right thing (which, by the way could turn out to be the wrong thing if there is a wrong in this case) in my opinion. I consulted a close friend who gave me a lead and told me which one to get and why he thought it was a good company to go with. He has used this card and was more than happy with the returns he gets with his investments.

You won’t believe this, but I’m kind of looking forward to getting the rectangular piece of plastic. I’ve begun meditating on all the places I could use it on, things I really never needed and probably still don’t, but hey, I’ll be getting awards back for my purchases, so go for the gusto. Isn’t that society’s ways now?

Bet you know who I will be calling for my fifth purchase? “Hey there Steven B. How ya doing? This is Mr. Pee Vee. About that Samsung U310 cell phone we talked about…”


- Paul J. Volkmann
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